How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series. He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years' experience in stimulating and supporting people. With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at


  • Josh Easy
    Josh Easy2 orë më parë

    Wow great ending, I read during the video similar comments to mine but didn’t expect that at the end, thank gosh ppl didn’t spoil the ending .. great quality video & lesson .. always remember your value .. 🙏🏾

  • Mr.WolfmanPlushies
    Mr.WolfmanPlushies5 orë më parë

    Amazing Advice

  • bees wasps
    bees wasps6 orë më parë

    I think the reason you don't take it personally when someone calls you an orange is because it is just a ridiculous thing to say to some one

  • bees wasps
    bees wasps6 orë më parë

    Sometimes you do have to take things personally

  • light throw clouds
    light throw clouds8 orë më parë


    AHSAN ALAM9 orë më parë


  • Diane Gyemi
    Diane Gyemi10 orë më parë

    Loved the ending!!!! Impactful!

  • southlondon86
    southlondon8611 orë më parë

    Thank you Frederik! I take everything personally so I really needed this. I’m definitely going to practice strengthening my ability to handle criticism. Like with anything else in life, it’s all strengthened through practice. 👍

    ROPHEKA WA MANZAMBI11 orë më parë

    Oh great job moreover the conclusion🇨🇩🙏🏽🙏🏽✌️

  • Angel G
    Angel G12 orë më parë

    I sent dis to my mom and my pops lmao hopefully dey don’t take it personally 😂😂

  • huỳnh nguyễn
    huỳnh nguyễn14 orë më parë

    “People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.” - This just hit me so hard. When I take things personally, I always get mad and sometimes fight back ( argue) with the person talked about me (of course things got worse) but after realizing what he said, the more I fight back the more value I lost (wasting my time and becoming more toxic, harmful person). Thank you for this incredible TEDtalk, it help me a lot in becoming a better man

  • Man Them
    Man Them17 orë më parë


  • Charles Lalawigan
    Charles Lalawigan17 orë më parë

    Michael Jordan disagrees btw

  • J B
    J B18 orë më parë

    Wow! This is one of the best talks I've ever seen and the best closing statement.

  • James Cool
    James Cool18 orë më parë

    Frederik looks just like his compatriot; Kevin De Bruyne. Hahaha. But yes, it was one of the greatest Tedx talks. Thank you

  • Nali Shield
    Nali Shield19 orë më parë

    What if , you don't take it personally and let it go, it will hurt you. Let's say, they say u can't be a referee, but u know u can (being right), how can u take that not personally (The job applications not allowing you, because they say, you can't be a referee either, u should just be a player).

  • Floyd John Barbin
    Floyd John Barbin20 orë më parë

    Awwwwww loved it.

  • Hasitha Mapalagama
    Hasitha Mapalagama20 orë më parë

    My EGO is so high, I never thought its me.

  • borgoat12
    borgoat12Ditë më parë

    4:46 "It's our ego." It's not "ego." It's self-esteem. There's a difference. "Ego" is conceit, while self-esteem is self-worth. As a hypothetical example, if someone's friends exclude her/him from an activity, that person who's excluded may feel slighted and suffer a loss in self-esteem. That person who's excluded may feel she/he is not good enough or worthy of inclusion. That hurts. It's actually "ego" for the friends doing the excluding because on some level, they erroneously believe they're in a more stable social position than the excluded friend due to their being in the "in-group," and they may be too blinded by "ego" to realise their self-delusion. But of course, they're the ones who are obviously in a less stable social position because "in-group" is fragile and inevitably collapses as one by one, the members of the "in-group" leave to do other things. In contrast, the excluded person who enjoys her/his own company, loves her/himself, and can have fun on her/his own need not worry about social stability because in a group of one, she/he can never be thrown out or left behind, and she/he has full control over her/his happiness and feel self-assured that that happiness does not depend on validation from others. And that's the foundation of truly resilient, long-lasting self-esteem.

  • Lew White
    Lew WhiteDitë më parë

    Look up this psychological-abuse term: GASLIGHTING. There are some people who do this to everyone around them, and build up a kind of gang-mentality against "others" they focus too much on. When you realize this kind of abuse has been used on you, the abuser's attempts to control, blame, or judge you becomes obvious. As Yahusha said, "If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free." [Yahukanon 8:31-32]

  • im just saucy
    im just saucyDitë më parë

    bro that ending spoke absolute volumes.just wow

  • Mashaer Alkhatrawi
    Mashaer AlkhatrawiDitë më parë

    I have hard time re- shifting my thinking but hopefully after this talk I remember “ it’s not about me “ and it’s EGO .. thanks for this presentation 🙏🏽

  • A D
    A DDitë më parë

    Tysm! No one would ever teach me this.

  • Micelius Beverus
    Micelius BeverusDitë më parë

    Well, to be honest, it's often more useful to be right than happy... And you can be mindlessly happy just cheating yourself... but these are cheap tricks to me, I don't buy it. Of course it is advisable not to ponder too much on our failures, let alone get depressed by them... But it shouldn't come at the cost of blindfolding yourself to reality... And a football referee should know about it damn well. Am I to think they don't strive to be professional, just seek an occasion to practise happiness no matter what players and spectators see? 😎

  • saurabh kale
    saurabh kaleDitë më parë

    Feeling relaxed after hearing it.🙂

  • Asad Marji
    Asad MarjiDitë më parë

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  • Wendy Gillett
    Wendy Gillett2 ditë më parë

    Thank you for this presentation. I admire your public speaking abilities and the topic was excellent too. I needed to hear what you said. Being the scapegoat in my family, I am sensitive to perceived slight or criticism, even after years of therapy. You gave me a new way of responding to my ego when it is poked. Thanks again.

  • Assassino
    Assassino2 ditë më parë

    Do shrooms. Just once..that's all it takes

  • Botwin Nancy
    Botwin Nancy2 ditë më parë

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    김김태경2 ditë më parë

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  • Zachary Thomas
    Zachary Thomas2 ditë më parë

    great speech but I like how whenever he asked a question to the audience there was just silence

  • Sal Cibella
    Sal Cibella2 ditë më parë

    Thank you for this. I needed it.

  • Ivan Gee
    Ivan Gee2 ditë më parë

    Michael Jordan has left the chat

  • Trexy Crocs
    Trexy Crocs2 ditë më parë

    and I took that personally

  • Simone Lombardo
    Simone Lombardo2 ditë më parë

    One of the best Tedx Talk I've seen.

  • Hazel Aggarwal
    Hazel Aggarwal2 ditë më parë

    I am here because I want to change myself.

  • Gracie Johnston
    Gracie Johnston2 ditë më parë

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  • Mr. Kent Bigmountain
    Mr. Kent Bigmountain2 ditë më parë

    "Don't take it personally" is one of the agreement on the book by Don Miguel Ruiz. That book was a big help.

  • Aziz Kambali

    Aziz Kambali

    2 orë më parë

    @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan It's is interesting indeed. You won't regret it.

  • Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

    Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

    2 orë më parë

    @Aziz Kambali thank you! It sounds interesting. I'll be sure to read it on my break

  • Aziz Kambali

    Aziz Kambali

    2 orë më parë

    @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom"

  • Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

    Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

    18 orë më parë

    What book is it?

  • Benjamin M.
    Benjamin M.2 ditë më parë

    Funny how this just came along exactly when I needed it...

  • Ruby Higson

    Ruby Higson

    Ditë më parë

    Me too! I’m scared that my friend is moving on from me ( he got a girlfriend, we barely talk anymore and when we do we talk about her) and last night I stayed up thinking about what I’ve done wrong. I can be petty, I’m hotheaded, I don’t share his hobbies etc. this is exactly what I needed to hear. ITS NOT ABOUT ME!

  • Bartek Licheński
    Bartek Licheński2 ditë më parë

    Michael Jordan should watch this

  • sybille dubois
    sybille dubois2 ditë më parë


  • Vidhata Return
    Vidhata Return2 ditë më parë

    Thankfully Michael Jordan did not see this.

  • Stewart Nell
    Stewart Nell2 ditë më parë

    Really deep and meaningful

  • Zabi Saboori
    Zabi Saboori3 ditë më parë

    When You focus on the intention of the other person, There's no need to take it personally..... This dude is a legend

  • Martijn
    Martijn3 ditë më parë

    Show this to Michael Jordan

  • Akbar Ali
    Akbar Ali3 ditë më parë

    im speechless this was amazing!!

  • Seyfo03
    Seyfo033 ditë më parë

    Is there even sitting someone in front of him? So silent damn

  • Ajey Nager
    Ajey Nager3 ditë më parë

    16:13 while taking out his 20 Euros note, he accidentally dropped a coin. I don't know if he noticed or not but I wanted to point it out.

  • shubhank sharma
    shubhank sharma4 ditë më parë

    Amazing man good job. Thanks a lot.

  • Vortex
    Vortex4 ditë më parë

    i think its in my dna to not take things seriously and make horrible comedy out of it and i feel personally attacked by that.

  • Junaidi Ismail
    Junaidi Ismail4 ditë më parë

    easier said than done.

  • Harman Kaur
    Harman Kaur4 ditë më parë


  • Nishant Raina
    Nishant Raina4 ditë më parë

    Amazing talk! Awesome conclusion! Lots of respect!

  • Jessica gray
    Jessica gray4 ditë më parë

    His teaching relates to my thinking. This is helping a chang in my thinking ,and is helping my high blood pressure.

  • 💣10mrbomber🚀
    💣10mrbomber🚀4 ditë më parë

    This is so true for me i need to change n be more happy n chill in this sense

  • Lina A
    Lina A4 ditë më parë

    I remember there was a class in my middle school that was similar to this I think was named 'Character development.' Just putting it out there if anyone wants to learn more about topics like these.

  • Chris Mosner
    Chris Mosner4 ditë më parë

    Majestic and breathtaking. You are so right about being fortunate to live beneath dark skies. Millions around the globe are, sadly, cut off rom the universe in a very real way. This was your finest opening, Richard! That Sony does great things with video at night. Maybe you can now better capture a light painting session so we can see your timings and technique?

  • Shalini Jain
    Shalini Jain4 ditë më parë

    Loved the last 20euros example

  • Deriv Trading Community
    Deriv Trading Community4 ditë më parë

    We need a Tedx Talks School 😊

  • Nets 4 Change
    Nets 4 Change4 ditë më parë

    As a performer, I too wondered why the audience would be quite when I would perform on stage. Like many people here are wondering the same question about this audience. One day I asked a seasoned performer if he knew why the audience wasn’t clapping or being more vocal... he told me that the when a performance is so good, the audience is captivated by the presentation that they don’t think to clap or show emotion. It all makes sense because at the end of every show we would get a standing ovation. Crazy how that works. And in the theater world being quite is good etiquette as well. You literally have to tell the audience they can clap and make noise.

  • Diegomolinams98
    Diegomolinams984 ditë më parë

    Epic ending

  • Claire Jones
    Claire Jones4 ditë më parë

    Yesterday someone asked me if I was insecure about my body and I lied to them and told them no I love my body. It definitely needs some work but I love it nonetheless because it is mine and mine only... I felt attacked by the mere question that I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep. Maybe the person was raising this seeing how I'm always so reserved and unconfident ... Or it is about me... The fact that it is hard to look at myself in the mirror, take pictures and post them, wear fashionable clothes like girls my age or even walk down the street without my arms crossed and head pointed at the ground... But you see, these are things you can't tell people... As a girl who grew up without a mother around... there are things that affect the way you view yourself... But this guy brings an interesting idea to my head. It is so simple but hardly ever practiced. I'm not in need of sympathy, I just wanted to share my piece of story and tell you to stay strong.

  • Zaria Lane
    Zaria Lane5 ditë më parë

    how handsome of a man. thanks for the talk.

  • Jade Dadiz
    Jade Dadiz5 ditë më parë


  • Tara Henry
    Tara Henry5 ditë më parë


  • Nicolas Shalaty
    Nicolas Shalaty5 ditë më parë

    Good stuff✌️

  • Mauri Nicolas
    Mauri Nicolas5 ditë më parë

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  • Imagine that Productions
    Imagine that Productions5 ditë më parë

    Thank you

  • Bence Sárközi
    Bence Sárközi5 ditë më parë

    People on the internet especially twitch, twitter, reddit should see this and take his advice. I am fcking tired of banning words on forums and see whining people on meme subreddits that they got offended by something that's not offensive in any way.

  • chaitanya velamala
    chaitanya velamala5 ditë më parë

    I am just here to see the other side of the story

  • reganmcneilonacid
    reganmcneilonacid5 ditë më parë

    this is some polyanna naive kind of wishy washy thiinking and quite harming. you can take this personally

  • Zakir Chowdhory
    Zakir Chowdhory5 ditë më parë

    Just love it, thank you.

  • Immortal
    Immortal5 ditë më parë

    What if he shits on the 20EUR - who wants it then?:)

  • M M
    M M5 ditë më parë

    OMG. The ending was GOLD. A huge thank you Frederick for this much-needed pep talk.

  • Federico Tarroni
    Federico Tarroni5 ditë më parë

    Hi Frederik, thanks very much!

  • Lelan Tanphuc
    Lelan Tanphuc5 ditë më parë

    Yang milih allah like yg Mili dajal hirawkan 1:39.........m.

  • apoorva mahajan
    apoorva mahajan5 ditë më parë

    Wow sir that was really really helpful❤️❤️

  • Brian Tanner
    Brian Tanner5 ditë më parë

    I cried when he said "No matter what people say, you will always keep you value." Hit me like a ton of bricks.

  • Christina


    Ditë më parë

    @Create With Darling jj

  • Christina


    Ditë më parë


  • Funky Human

    Funky Human

    Ditë më parë

    Not true because if ppl bullie then well you're fudged

  • Create With Darling

    Create With Darling

    Ditë më parë

    Me too 😭

  • Lo Med

    Lo Med

    4 ditë më parë

    So wholesome 😭

  • Do Ngoc Quynh
    Do Ngoc Quynh6 ditë më parë

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  • ecefw
    ecefw6 ditë më parë

    I was really glad that i'd stumbled on this video and this was my first time that I watched ted talk that I really finished it. At the end of the video it was a very thought-provoking metephor. I even smiled at the end of the video while he said "You will always keep your value."

  • Devineee Visionary
    Devineee Visionary6 ditë më parë

    This guy is a genius

  • erratic_calm
    erratic_calm6 ditë më parë

    I needed this today. Thanks, Google.

  • Fuji Honjo
    Fuji Honjo6 ditë më parë

    In conclusion: $20 is $20

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë


  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

  • Amen Sister
    Amen Sister6 ditë më parë

    Wonderful public speaking and suberb ending! Will have to use that sometime!!!

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë


  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

  • Joseph Mills
    Joseph Mills6 ditë më parë

    9:54 my thoughts exactly

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    Whatzapp ✅

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊😊

  • logan swartz
    logan swartz6 ditë më parë

    i showed this to my girlfriend but she took it personally

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë


  • Jenifer Ryan

    Jenifer Ryan

    6 ditë më parë

    All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

  • Abiya Fellak
    Abiya Fellak6 ditë më parë

    We need this sooo much, because people are becoming soo rude, and not gentle

  • Abiya Fellak
    Abiya Fellak6 ditë më parë

    This must be one of the best videos of the year! Impressive, thx

  • ALWestcott
    ALWestcott6 ditë më parë

    “You will always keep your value”. Wow so powerful!

  • greg boley
    greg boley6 ditë më parë

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  • Fidel Livino
    Fidel Livino6 ditë më parë

    This is what should be called motivational video. I loved it

  • Milly Thimaras
    Milly Thimaras6 ditë më parë

    Love this

  • mosomo17
    mosomo176 ditë më parë

    That! "Wipes tear from eye"

  • thuy Pham
    thuy Pham6 ditë më parë

    Be honest, open-minded and comunicate is the key of almost social interface problems in some kind of society. (shouldnt generalize things however i am just trying to contrast by using my limited expericence ) :)

  • Míša Doležalová
    Míša Doležalová6 ditë më parë

    Awesome talk!

  • Enes Misini
    Enes Misini6 ditë më parë

    Kevin De Bruyne, you are not a referee but a Manchester city player

  • The Opinionated Pug
    The Opinionated Pug7 ditë më parë

    Beautiful words 💚

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    george amaxopoulos7 ditë më parë

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  • birdieculture
    birdieculture7 ditë më parë

    I guess sometimes we take things personally becoz we have this justice mentality, yet we might not know the difference between "true justice" and "perceived justice". In the case of this referee example, he WAS doing the players a "favour" by making sure the game is played according to the rules, rules in which both sides agreed on. But those who want to win without playing by the rules get angry. They simply don't deserve his "favour", or even the right to play. These bad players have a "perceived justice" a.k.a. "u let me win = justice", yet we know "true justice" is when everyone play by the rules fairly and win. So, in conclusion: learn what "true justice" is, don't go and perceive your own version of what justice is, coz "true justice" is / should be appreciated by everyone, even when we are human and sometimes just don't do so.

  • Ed
    Ed7 ditë më parë

    Came here thinking it was Prince Harry talking about dealing with what people are saying about him and Megan.

  • Ed


    3 ditë më parë

    @Critter Tales lol

  • Piper T. Kanari

    Piper T. Kanari

    3 ditë më parë

    omg lol

  • Critter Tales

    Critter Tales

    4 ditë më parë

    I clicked thinking it was Owen Hunt from Grey's Anatomy in the thumbnail 👀

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